Archive for 2009

“The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her your love- the same love that is motivating your questioning – immediately and unmistakably. Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her, tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her, and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate. She may still have some situation to deal with, and you may be able to help her with that, but the emotional aspect will be converted to love.

It is a very rare occasion when your analysis of her mood relieves her of it. Most often, your analysis and attempts to fix her will just piss her off more. Ask her if she would rather you gave her love or analyzed her when she is upset. It’s so easy to give her love; it’s what both of you really want anyway. But as a man you are more likely to try to fix her. That’s exactly not what she wants, and exactly what will make the situation worse, most of the time.”

David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

While I’m all for couples improving their communication skills, sometimes the best communication involves no words at all. When a woman, (naturally tempestuous creatures that we are), is in the midst of an emotional storm, it’s often better to pin her up against the wall or throw her over a shoulder and carry her off to the beach or the bedroom. When words don’t seem to be doing the trick, it’s often best to stop using them.

Modigliani, Seated Nude.