Archive for the ‘growth’ Category

The Escalator Effect

Friday, September 30th, 2011

There are times when the universe supports change in your life. You get a nudge that it’s time to leave or change a situation. You’ve been in it for a while; you’re comfortable there.

But deep down, you know it’s time. To move. To end your relationship, quit your job, move cities or give up a crutch.

You keep getting signs. Doors open that support your next step: you get offered a new job contract. You meet an attractive man. Someone tells you about the low price of real estate in the city you dream of moving to.

I call this “the escalator effect.” The universe is providing you with a boost to the next level of your growth. It’s a window of opportunity that stays open for a short time.

There is a price to getting on the elevator: you have to let go of something first. You can’t get on it and still be in the situation you’re in.

Years ago, I was involved with someone and had knew for months that it was over. I was trying to push aside that knowledge. In a workshop, I had a moment of crystal clarity that we had no future. It was time to end it officially.

All kinds of amazing things were taking off in my life at that time: I was suddenly meeting LOTS of intriguing men, I had incredible business ventures gearing up, I felt very optimistic about my future—I was on an upswing. The universe was providing me with an escalator.

Except that I didn’t get on it.

It was six months before I ended the relationship. By that time, the escalator was long gone. Instead, there was a cliff in front of me. I was stuck looking down at the crevasse. I could still leave, and I did. Now it was much harder to do.

The escalator is the gift we get from the universe when we ACT on our intuition and “the signs” as they appear. It supports our growth into the next stage of our lives. When we resist and hesitate, that help evaporates.

The message? Act fast when you know it’s time.

The universe supports bold, brave moves.

The video above is a twist on this idea: it’s still up to you to move.

And, fyi, I don’t do margarine. Butter, maybe, a la Last Tango in Paris. Not margarine. ;)

Tantra: Living on the Edge

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

Tantra is all about getting to the edge and staying there.

For hours.

For years.

Sting popularized Tantra when he let it be known in an interview that he could make love to his wife all night He’s since admitted that he was exaggerating.

Which isn’t to say it can’t be done.

It can.

One of my all-time favorite lovers was a man in his fifties. He was able to make love for hours at a time. Literally. We would be up most of the night, save for the occasional 15-minute power nap and then he would sprint off to his high-powered job in the morning, brimming with energy and enthusiasm.

His secret was knowing how to move and recirculate his sexual energy, via some very basic Tantric and Taoist techniques.

Sexual energy is a massive, underused power source, and most people have no clue how to tap into it.

He did.

And made me a very well-fucked woman because of it.

The way to harness this energy is to get to the edge of orgasm and stay there. Learn to get comfortable there. You put yourself in the place where you don’t know if you can take the intensity, the pleasure, the depth and you stay even longer.

That edge also represents vulnerability. Commitment. Showing up. Endurance. Thinking that you can’t go any further and then you do.

That’s transcendence. You break through into another dimension of pleasure and another dimension of yourself, that you didn’t know was there.

That’s what I love most about Tantra.

We become addicted to peaks and valleys in our lives, and in sex: a build, a climax and then a descent.

As we get more masterful at living: controlling our attitudes to remain positive, no matter what; and at loving: allowing ourselves to stay in the pleasure zone, no matter what, then we’re able to remain at a high, powerful, energized place.

For hours.

For years.

We’ll be exploring the fundamentals of Tantra in the Sexual Savant Salons beginning next week. Check them out here.

Ask, dammit!

Friday, September 9th, 2011

Ask for what you want.

From the universe. From your lover. From your friends.

There is a spiritual law which states that the universe cannot meddle in your affairs unless given permission.

And then it can start moving things around to give you what you want. And making miracles.

Miracles start with asking for them.

Thinking lightly about something, tossing it around in your head is not asking for it.

Making a request to the universe is.

Me thinking casually about writing a new article for Playboy is not asking. Writing a pitch to the editor is. (He loved it and said “yes” immediately. Look out for it in the coming months!)

Wishing your lover would figure out that you want him to spend more time performing oral sex on you during intercourse is not asking for it. Saying this is: “It so turns me on when you go down on me while we’re having sex. It drives me wild. I would love it if you did more of that. Would you?”

Being frustrated that your boss doesn’t recognize your true greatness is not asking to be acknowledged. Putting it out there that you are worth a promotion and a larger salary is.

No person, no thing can go about fulfilling your desires unless you ask first.

What have you been holding back on asking for?

You’ll be amazed at how eager the universe is to give you what you want.

Today, ask for three things that you’ve been holding back on. Doing so puts you back into the flow of life, of growth and movement in the universe.

Which is where you are meant to be.

The universe wants to collaborate with you. Look at nature—everything is in a constant motion of growth. That’s the nature of life here. All you need to do is get in the habit of asking.