Posts Tagged ‘growth’

The Importance of Being Oral

Friday, January 13th, 2012

Oral sex is an excellent barometer for how much you truly adore your partner.

Do you want to taste and absorb every ounce of them?

Are you willing to let them deep, deep inside you? 

Are you in love with the very essence of them?

How much you enjoy oral sex will tell you that.

Your partner’s genitals are the essence of who they are. If you reject that, you are rejecting the core of your partner.

I’ve seen ridiculous products and advice that suggests if people don’t like the taste of their partner’s genitals, they smother them with cherry-cola-poufy-pouf creams and carcinogenic products. If someone offers that, kick them out of bed. DTMFA and move on with your life. You have no time for that shit.

You need to find an organic—in every sense of the word—solution instead.

Like these:

1) Bathe. Hygiene matters. Well, I sorta take that back. When I’m really into someone, I like it when they are sweaty and unwashed. And full of vigor. À la Napoleon. 

You’ve probably heard the famous story where Napoleon writes to his lover, Josephine from the battlefield:

“Am returning in three days. Don’t wash.”

If someone is healthy and eats well, following a clean and Crazy Sexy Lifestyle they are going to smell good. I promise.

I personally love it when my man is full of his own scent. It’s intoxicating.

2) I meant what I said about the barometer stuff. If you have an aversion to your lover’s genitals, I bet you have an aversion to them on other levels as well.

This could be situational: maybe there’s an issue that needs resolving. You need to talk orally before you can play orally.

Or, you truly aren’t a match.

In the ancient Taoist traditions, mates were paired according to their genitals. The genitals know.

Every man I have been totally smitten with, I’ve also been in love with his cock. And vice versa. I rely on my cock radar.

3) There’s an element of submissiveness to performing oral sex. Enjoy it. Let your partner’s genitals truly fuck you. Penetrate you.

“I want to fuck you,” she said. “It’s your face.”
“What about my face?”
“It’s magnificent. I want to destroy your face with my cunt.”
“It might be the other way around.”
“Don’t bet on it.
“
“You’re right. Cunts are indestructable.”

~ Charles Bukowski, Women, 1978.

If you haven’t already, explore this dynamic. As the recipient, be the fuckee, rather than the fucker. Really get into the action. Create an exchange.

4) More on receiving.

If you don’t think you enjoy oral sex, ask yourself this? How connected are you to your masculinity or femininity? Are you confident in it? Do you own it?

If you are dissociated from it—your feminine/masculine energy or your sexuality—you’ll be dissociated from your genitals. You need to reclaim that relationship and then you will feel more. Your genitals become living, sentient beings. With minds of their own.

Clear, trustworthy minds. Build that relationship with them. Love them. Massage them. Pay attention to them.

They are full of wisdom.

“There’s Nothing Original Out There” and Other Bull***t

Friday, January 6th, 2012

“There’s nothing original out there.”

“It’s all been done before.”

When people say these things, I just roll my eyes. And quietly dismiss them from my sphere.

You are totally unique. There is no other soul exactly like you in the universe.

You are one of a kind. Your very own brand.

As you work with spirit and co-creating yourself, you amplify that. It gets stronger, clearer, more distinctive.

And it looks different than anything anyone has ever seen.

That takes courage to express.

Which is why so many people default to “It’s all been done before.” They’re afraid to take it to that next level.

“The one who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. Those who walk alone are likely to find themselves in places no one has ever been before.”

~ Einstein

When you are truly yourself, and you express that in your creative work, the end result is innovative, bold and NEW.

You, in this form, right now, have never existed before. So the expression is too. That is, the more you let the real you come out, and don’t hide behind what other people have already done.

Ian Schrager is one of my role models. He opened the legendary Studio 54 and in a later incarnation, gave birth to the boutique hotel. He wanted to create unique spaces that were like mini, self-contained universes.

And he’s done them so well. So well, that he’s been imitated the world over and started a whole new concept.

He’s said that he wants people to walk into one of his hotels and feel like it’s nothing they’ve ever seen before.

Two of my favorites are the Sanderson (above image is the lobby) in London and Gramercy Park in New York. Then there’s the Delano. And the Shore Club. I love them all.

The way he describes his creative process is this:

“I’m all about innovation. I want to walk right up to the edge and see how far we can go, without going over it.”

and

“I always do exactly what I love, and am always surprised when other people love it too.”

When I gave a talk last year at Pecha Kucha Night in Vancouver, I was wondering how far I ought to take it. Do I put it all out there? I’m this crazy mix of art and God and surfing and MILF-ing and ejaculate-eating. How would it all go down?

Raucously.

I put it all out there and knocked it out of the park.

A few tips on being courageous to your own voice:

1) The unknown can be very scary. Which is why most people don’t go there. Get used to the foreign-ness of it. Make it your friend. As Steve Jobs said,

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

2) Surround yourself with big thinkers. Fearless thinkers.

Last year, when I was preparing my Pecha Kucha talk, I was talking to the awesome Kate Muker, of Conscious Divas. “Go for it,” she said. “Just do it.” Her words were the tipping point for me.

3) If you are having fun and it makes you feel high and belly laugh at the crazy absurdness of it all, you are probably on the right track.

I was talking to my awesome, awesome literary agent last week about my book. We were on the same theme: being true to my voice. As he gave me feedback, I was laughing so hard my belly ached. And ached.

I took it as a sign that we were moving in the right direction.

4) Stop hiding. Behind other people’s words and opinions. Do your best to discover your own. And express them.

I see people mimic and even plagiarize other people’s work all the time. And their opinions.

You aren’t fooling anyone.

Even if people don’t know exactly where you “borrowed” it from, whether it’s web site copy or how you feel about a social issue, they’ll feel that you aren’t totally authentic. And they’ll back away.

Even if it feels clumsy and painful at first, find your own way. It gets easier. And you’ll have the power of the universe, all of its creative energy, on your side.

I promise you that.

Be courageous and true to your own voice. Always.

****

The talk I gave at Pecha Kucha last year was called “Things that Open; Things that Penetrate.” It was on my creative influences.

If you haven’t seen the video yet, here it is:

PKN Vancouver is having a contest—the person who collects the most votes as the best presenter over the years gets to talk at their all-star night in February.

If you like the video (or you were there that night), please vote for me! Because it’s important that more people know it’s possible to love eating ejaculate and practicing high spirituality. And often at the same time.

Vote for me here! Scroll down to Vol. 14 to find me.

Many thanks and much love!

~ Kim
xx

Orgasmic Enlightenment in 30 Days

Saturday, November 5th, 2011

Sex for me has always been about transformation.

Pleasure, yes, definitely. But I always felt how sex uplifted and changed me as a person.

Well, the right kind of sex.

The kind where two people really let down their guard, open to each other and allow the intensity of their longing for one another show.

No hiding.

That kind of sex is cataclysmic and life changing.

It’s why I’ve spent half my life studying, exploring and challenging myself in the sexual realm.

Because I’ve seen how powerful it is. I’ve seen how it allows me to self-actualize: to become more of the person I am meant to be.

By bringing the inside out.

Deep, powerful sex means that we have to be raw. And open. And share.

Without holding back.

Deeper orgasms REQUIRE this. Like G-Spot and cervical orgasms in women and G-Spot orgasms in men.

Mechanics only go so far. Which is why so few people ever reach the next level of orgasm and sex.

They don’t know how to let go.

And what is orgasm if not release? And letting go.

I’m so passionate about my work because I want everyone to understand the power of sex, of orgasm, to rebirth us. The French term of “la petite mort” or “the little death” is so fitting because amazing sex allows us to wake up and reclaim the lost parts of ourselves.

One of the things I always mention in my talks is the idea of committing to your sexual evolution. Like anything—your career, exercise—you only get to The Zone, to the good stuff when you stick with it.

The process of transcendence in anything requires committing. Until you make it to the other side.

Enter the idea of the 30-day sex challenge.

I’ve written about a couple and their Year of Living Sexually: 365 days of sex. And how they later said it was the best year of their marriage.

You can go big right away and do that. Or, you can begin with 30 days.

In the online G-Spot salon beginning next week, you’ll have five weeks in which to take up this challenge. I’ll be guiding you every step of the way in how to deepen intimacy, create lasting, powerful habits, and reach orgasmic enlightenment.

It’s possible for everyone.

Join us on a five week journey to revolutionize your sexuality. Or, take the journey on your own. Commit to 30 or 40 days of sex. Even if it’s with yourself. Every day, spend time coming together intimately, sexually. Focus on removing ANY barriers that crop up as excuses: children, chores, work or the ubiquitous “I’m tired.”

If you have sex the way I coach you to, you’ll be energized afterwards. That way, when you feel exhausted, you’ll reach for your lover instead of a Red Bull.

And you can try my very special diet.

Either way, whether you jump aboard with or without me in the next five weeks, I challenge, I DARE you to prioritize your sex life. It’s a huge part of you that NEEDS expression.

Let it out. Let it all out.

Want to hear the results of 30 days of sex? Would you like to see a well-fucked woman?

Right this way.

Scroll down to the video midway.

The proof is in the pudding.

Much love! And orgasms. :)

xx

Image: Pierre dal Corso