Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

Marathon Sex

Thursday, December 2nd, 2010

I was delighted to receive the following questions from some friends of mine last week:

1. Is six hours a day too much sex?
2. Should I be worried by the fact that I am having wayyyy too much sex?
3. How many hours of sex a day for a consecutive year can a vagina take?
4. When do you know that just too much sex is not good for your vagina?

This couple has a long-distance relationship, so their sex life is a lot of feast-or-famine. Or maybe their sex life would look like this all the time. Hence the questions.

I recommend having sex at least once a day for everyone. Whether that’s an hour or six hours, it’s your decision to make. Presumably, given other life responsibilities, not every day will be six hours, so make hay while the sun shines! The next day is always a good gauge–are you tired or energized from the previous day’s exertions?

One person’s “wayyyyy too much” is another person’s drought, but at six hours a day, you are probably(? :) ) in the category of safely satiated. Since in the Taoist tradition, we use sex as a means to liberate and store energy, hours of practice at a time is a good and rejuvenating thing. To ensure that a lot of sex energizes rather than depletes you, make sure that you are breathing throughout: especially intense moments and orgasm. This recirculates your sexual energy back into your body rather than ejecting it out of you. Aim for a deep belly-breath and a four-count inhale and a four-count exhale; a good Vinyasa flow breath. This will ensure that you are getting the most benefit out of your sexual experiences by unblocking any stagnant energy and allowing your juicy, rejuvenating sexual chi to flow where it’s needed.

Read the rest of this article at Conscious Divas.

Ask me anything

Have any burning sex questions? I’m going to be answering them in upcoming blog and video posts. If you are feeling shy, you can submit your questions anonymously here.

Does the G-Spot exist?

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

Definitely.

Yet another scientific study recently emerged, casting doubt on the existence of the female G-Spot. Since I found mine and have enjoyed it for years, I typically don’t pay attention to such purported research. It’s at the forefront of my mind though since I recently wrote an article for Playboy magazine (it’ll be in the March issue) discussing the three types of female orgasms – the clitoral, G-Spot and the cervical. Not only do scores of sexual adventurers and experts alike agree on its existence, Taoist Tantric culture discovered these pleasure zones 5000 years ago.

The G-Spot exists in all women. It is simply an area of spongy tissue located about an inch or two inside the vagina. The varying factors are: how it is stimulated, the degree to which a woman can truly let go and surrender herself, and the strength of the pelvic floor (PC) muscle. There are ways to improve all of these things and create deeply pleasurable and satisfying G-Spot orgasms in all women.

The G-Spot typically requires a lot of intense pressure and is accessed by certain sexual positions only. There are many G-Spot toys on the market that can aid a woman in stimulating this specific area. Having intercourse with a woman while she is on all fours is also an ideal way to find the spot.

The Taoists looked at deeper pelvic orgasms as more internal experiences, and as such, women require a greater degree of emotional vulnerability to achieve them – something not easily reproduced in a lab or in a relationship fraught with other issues. The more a woman feels free to explore and express sexually, the greater likelihood that she will reach the blissful states she is aiming for.

Lastly, do your Kegels. Particularly in post-childbearing women, the PC muscle can weaken and is less able to articulate. PC strengthening via Kegel exercises and use of certain intra-vaginal devices like jade eggs provide a work-out to these muscles. In fact, some women take to the practice so seriously that they are able to lift pounds of weight with their vaginas! The Guinness World Record for vaginal weight-lifting belongs to Tatiana Kozhevnikova who set the record by lifting 31 pounds with her vagina. Says Tatiana: “It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed.”

I’ll post the Playboy piece here on my site once the magazine comes out. The G-Spot also exists in men. But that’s another story.

I’m going to be holding a series of Sexual Savant Salons over the next few months that will be a hedonistic and informative mix of techniques for better sex. I’ll definitely be addressing the G-Spot. More details soon.

Photo: Chris Craymer