Posts Tagged ‘the power of belief’

“There’s Nothing Original Out There” and Other Bull***t

Friday, January 6th, 2012

“There’s nothing original out there.”

“It’s all been done before.”

When people say these things, I just roll my eyes. And quietly dismiss them from my sphere.

You are totally unique. There is no other soul exactly like you in the universe.

You are one of a kind. Your very own brand.

As you work with spirit and co-creating yourself, you amplify that. It gets stronger, clearer, more distinctive.

And it looks different than anything anyone has ever seen.

That takes courage to express.

Which is why so many people default to “It’s all been done before.” They’re afraid to take it to that next level.

“The one who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. Those who walk alone are likely to find themselves in places no one has ever been before.”

~ Einstein

When you are truly yourself, and you express that in your creative work, the end result is innovative, bold and NEW.

You, in this form, right now, have never existed before. So the expression is too. That is, the more you let the real you come out, and don’t hide behind what other people have already done.

Ian Schrager is one of my role models. He opened the legendary Studio 54 and in a later incarnation, gave birth to the boutique hotel. He wanted to create unique spaces that were like mini, self-contained universes.

And he’s done them so well. So well, that he’s been imitated the world over and started a whole new concept.

He’s said that he wants people to walk into one of his hotels and feel like it’s nothing they’ve ever seen before.

Two of my favorites are the Sanderson (above image is the lobby) in London and Gramercy Park in New York. Then there’s the Delano. And the Shore Club. I love them all.

The way he describes his creative process is this:

“I’m all about innovation. I want to walk right up to the edge and see how far we can go, without going over it.”

and

“I always do exactly what I love, and am always surprised when other people love it too.”

When I gave a talk last year at Pecha Kucha Night in Vancouver, I was wondering how far I ought to take it. Do I put it all out there? I’m this crazy mix of art and God and surfing and MILF-ing and ejaculate-eating. How would it all go down?

Raucously.

I put it all out there and knocked it out of the park.

A few tips on being courageous to your own voice:

1) The unknown can be very scary. Which is why most people don’t go there. Get used to the foreign-ness of it. Make it your friend. As Steve Jobs said,

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

2) Surround yourself with big thinkers. Fearless thinkers.

Last year, when I was preparing my Pecha Kucha talk, I was talking to the awesome Kate Muker, of Conscious Divas. “Go for it,” she said. “Just do it.” Her words were the tipping point for me.

3) If you are having fun and it makes you feel high and belly laugh at the crazy absurdness of it all, you are probably on the right track.

I was talking to my awesome, awesome literary agent last week about my book. We were on the same theme: being true to my voice. As he gave me feedback, I was laughing so hard my belly ached. And ached.

I took it as a sign that we were moving in the right direction.

4) Stop hiding. Behind other people’s words and opinions. Do your best to discover your own. And express them.

I see people mimic and even plagiarize other people’s work all the time. And their opinions.

You aren’t fooling anyone.

Even if people don’t know exactly where you “borrowed” it from, whether it’s web site copy or how you feel about a social issue, they’ll feel that you aren’t totally authentic. And they’ll back away.

Even if it feels clumsy and painful at first, find your own way. It gets easier. And you’ll have the power of the universe, all of its creative energy, on your side.

I promise you that.

Be courageous and true to your own voice. Always.

****

The talk I gave at Pecha Kucha last year was called “Things that Open; Things that Penetrate.” It was on my creative influences.

If you haven’t seen the video yet, here it is:

PKN Vancouver is having a contest—the person who collects the most votes as the best presenter over the years gets to talk at their all-star night in February.

If you like the video (or you were there that night), please vote for me! Because it’s important that more people know it’s possible to love eating ejaculate and practicing high spirituality. And often at the same time.

Vote for me here! Scroll down to Vol. 14 to find me.

Many thanks and much love!

~ Kim
xx

Rise Up!

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

Yeah, I know. Everything sounds sexual when you do what I do.

Over the years as I’ve evolved as a sex coach, I’ve experienced my own “coming out.”

Since I do life coaching and sex coaching, I would often choose one moniker over the other when introducing myself to new people or at certain events.

Up until recently, in the spiritual path that I follow, I would use “life coach.” I went to a large seminar a few weeks ago and decided to “come out” to these people.

My first experience was well-received. I was at dinner with a group of friends, one of whom knows what I do for a living.

I went for it.

I talked about powerful vaginas. How they can increase orgasmic potential and how they are able to make a man ejaculate or stop him from ejaculating with their great power. I spoke of eating come and why deep throating makes you a better person.

Then I shared with them what I see as the key to lifelong passion and activating the power of your intimate relationship: surrender.

Opening oneself up. Learning how to let go and step aside so that a greater power can come in.

Which is much like the road to God.

They loved it. They’d never heard anyone talk like that or link it altogether: whole-person sex and love.

Later that weekend, a woman I know locally approached me. She wanted to share with me that she thought I was too sexy. And that my “too sexiness” was not appropriate for the venue we were in. She told me that “people were talking.”

My sexual energy is integrated into my very being. I don’t think about it; it just is me. I don’t try to overtly BE sexy or dress sexy.

I just AM one sexy muthafucka.

Love it or leave it.

I don’t believe in women or anyone having to hide their sexuality—either with their clothing choices or how they behave. It is the equivalent of burqa-izing oneself.

My first thought was to let her have her opinions. She was coming from a very different place than me. But I have to admit, I was upset by the encounter. I was upset that people can judge like that, gossip, say mean things. And do it in such a cowardly, behind-your-back way.

So I harnessed my upset.

I told this woman how sex for me is about self-actualization. How we all have to collectively work to rise above the unnatural suppression that exists, especially for women. I told her how deep sex mixed with love opens and transforms us in a way that few things can.

I was passionate and fierce and vulnerable.

She started to cry.

I was already crying.

Once she could see how firm I was in my truth, she not only backed down, but it illuminated something in her. She saw a way of looking at this that hadn’t occurred to her before. As the discussion wound down, she asked me for my website. A few days later she emailed me to ask if she could coach with me.

It’s important to get your views across. To make sure that you are understood—that is your responsibility.

Not everyone will get it. If you can get to your own truth, and articulate it, you can wake up the truth in others as well.

Where are you hanging back and not fully expressing yourself? Where have you backed down? Where do you need to rise up?

Your life and self-worth will thank you when you do.

Stencil: Eddie Colla

How to Have Confidence in Anything

Friday, July 29th, 2011

Whenever you are faced with an area in your life that you don’t like, or an aspect of yourself you aren’t proud of, you have two choices:

1) Own it

or

2) Change it

Whatever it is, if you own it, you have confidence.

Have you ever noticed certain people who carry, say thirty or fifty extra pounds on them and they are busting with attitude? They genuinely love themselves, they’ve accepted the body weight they have and screw you if you don’t like it. They’ll find someone who does.

They radiate attractiveness because they are proud of who they are. Maybe they defy “conventional” definitions of beauty, but their charisma can be felt across the room.

That’s owning it.

Or, you have another option: change it.

Whatever it is you want to be different, YOU can decide to make it so.

And then take action.

You can work hard to lose those extra thirty pounds and THE BIG SECRET is that the moment you start on that journey, you gain confidence. As soon as you get into action around whatever it is you want, it goes from being a shameful secret you are embarrassed about to something you have taken control of.

Now you have power.

You choose.

How you see yourself is how others see you.

What have you been putting off taking action on that is troubling you? Starting a new fitness program? Changing up your diet? Starting a meditation practice?

Take action now. I guarantee, that as soon as you get in motion, things will change. And once you get in motion, you’ll harness momentum.

Image: Conrad Roset