Posts Tagged ‘Vancouver life coach’

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The Importance of Being Oral

Friday, January 13th, 2012

Oral sex is an excellent barometer for how much you truly adore your partner.

Do you want to taste and absorb every ounce of them?

Are you willing to let them deep, deep inside you? 

Are you in love with the very essence of them?

How much you enjoy oral sex will tell you that.

Your partner’s genitals are the essence of who they are. If you reject that, you are rejecting the core of your partner.

I’ve seen ridiculous products and advice that suggests if people don’t like the taste of their partner’s genitals, they smother them with cherry-cola-poufy-pouf creams and carcinogenic products. If someone offers that, kick them out of bed. DTMFA and move on with your life. You have no time for that shit.

You need to find an organic—in every sense of the word—solution instead.

Like these:

1) Bathe. Hygiene matters. Well, I sorta take that back. When I’m really into someone, I like it when they are sweaty and unwashed. And full of vigor. À la Napoleon. 

You’ve probably heard the famous story where Napoleon writes to his lover, Josephine from the battlefield:

“Am returning in three days. Don’t wash.”

If someone is healthy and eats well, following a clean and Crazy Sexy Lifestyle they are going to smell good. I promise.

I personally love it when my man is full of his own scent. It’s intoxicating.

2) I meant what I said about the barometer stuff. If you have an aversion to your lover’s genitals, I bet you have an aversion to them on other levels as well.

This could be situational: maybe there’s an issue that needs resolving. You need to talk orally before you can play orally.

Or, you truly aren’t a match.

In the ancient Taoist traditions, mates were paired according to their genitals. The genitals know.

Every man I have been totally smitten with, I’ve also been in love with his cock. And vice versa. I rely on my cock radar.

3) There’s an element of submissiveness to performing oral sex. Enjoy it. Let your partner’s genitals truly fuck you. Penetrate you.

“I want to fuck you,” she said. “It’s your face.”
“What about my face?”
“It’s magnificent. I want to destroy your face with my cunt.”
“It might be the other way around.”
“Don’t bet on it.
“
“You’re right. Cunts are indestructable.”

~ Charles Bukowski, Women, 1978.

If you haven’t already, explore this dynamic. As the recipient, be the fuckee, rather than the fucker. Really get into the action. Create an exchange.

4) More on receiving.

If you don’t think you enjoy oral sex, ask yourself this? How connected are you to your masculinity or femininity? Are you confident in it? Do you own it?

If you are dissociated from it—your feminine/masculine energy or your sexuality—you’ll be dissociated from your genitals. You need to reclaim that relationship and then you will feel more. Your genitals become living, sentient beings. With minds of their own.

Clear, trustworthy minds. Build that relationship with them. Love them. Massage them. Pay attention to them.

They are full of wisdom.

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“There’s Nothing Original Out There” and Other Bull***t

Friday, January 6th, 2012

“There’s nothing original out there.”

“It’s all been done before.”

When people say these things, I just roll my eyes. And quietly dismiss them from my sphere.

You are totally unique. There is no other soul exactly like you in the universe.

You are one of a kind. Your very own brand.

As you work with spirit and co-creating yourself, you amplify that. It gets stronger, clearer, more distinctive.

And it looks different than anything anyone has ever seen.

That takes courage to express.

Which is why so many people default to “It’s all been done before.” They’re afraid to take it to that next level.

“The one who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. Those who walk alone are likely to find themselves in places no one has ever been before.”

~ Einstein

When you are truly yourself, and you express that in your creative work, the end result is innovative, bold and NEW.

You, in this form, right now, have never existed before. So the expression is too. That is, the more you let the real you come out, and don’t hide behind what other people have already done.

Ian Schrager is one of my role models. He opened the legendary Studio 54 and in a later incarnation, gave birth to the boutique hotel. He wanted to create unique spaces that were like mini, self-contained universes.

And he’s done them so well. So well, that he’s been imitated the world over and started a whole new concept.

He’s said that he wants people to walk into one of his hotels and feel like it’s nothing they’ve ever seen before.

Two of my favorites are the Sanderson (above image is the lobby) in London and Gramercy Park in New York. Then there’s the Delano. And the Shore Club. I love them all.

The way he describes his creative process is this:

“I’m all about innovation. I want to walk right up to the edge and see how far we can go, without going over it.”

and

“I always do exactly what I love, and am always surprised when other people love it too.”

When I gave a talk last year at Pecha Kucha Night in Vancouver, I was wondering how far I ought to take it. Do I put it all out there? I’m this crazy mix of art and God and surfing and MILF-ing and ejaculate-eating. How would it all go down?

Raucously.

I put it all out there and knocked it out of the park.

A few tips on being courageous to your own voice:

1) The unknown can be very scary. Which is why most people don’t go there. Get used to the foreign-ness of it. Make it your friend. As Steve Jobs said,

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

2) Surround yourself with big thinkers. Fearless thinkers.

Last year, when I was preparing my Pecha Kucha talk, I was talking to the awesome Kate Muker, of Conscious Divas. “Go for it,” she said. “Just do it.” Her words were the tipping point for me.

3) If you are having fun and it makes you feel high and belly laugh at the crazy absurdness of it all, you are probably on the right track.

I was talking to my awesome, awesome literary agent last week about my book. We were on the same theme: being true to my voice. As he gave me feedback, I was laughing so hard my belly ached. And ached.

I took it as a sign that we were moving in the right direction.

4) Stop hiding. Behind other people’s words and opinions. Do your best to discover your own. And express them.

I see people mimic and even plagiarize other people’s work all the time. And their opinions.

You aren’t fooling anyone.

Even if people don’t know exactly where you “borrowed” it from, whether it’s web site copy or how you feel about a social issue, they’ll feel that you aren’t totally authentic. And they’ll back away.

Even if it feels clumsy and painful at first, find your own way. It gets easier. And you’ll have the power of the universe, all of its creative energy, on your side.

I promise you that.

Be courageous and true to your own voice. Always.

****

The talk I gave at Pecha Kucha last year was called “Things that Open; Things that Penetrate.” It was on my creative influences.

If you haven’t seen the video yet, here it is:

PKN Vancouver is having a contest—the person who collects the most votes as the best presenter over the years gets to talk at their all-star night in February.

If you like the video (or you were there that night), please vote for me! Because it’s important that more people know it’s possible to love eating ejaculate and practicing high spirituality. And often at the same time.

Vote for me here! Scroll down to Vol. 14 to find me.

Many thanks and much love!

~ Kim
xx

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Posted in belief, entrepreneurship, growth, self-actualization | 2 Comments »

The Most Powerful Weapon You Have

Friday, December 30th, 2011

I was asking an empire builder what his secret was to making money. He looked surprised and right away said that it wasn’t about the money.

It was because he LOVED doing it. He loved collecting companies and rebuilding them and making them successful. Like nurturing children.

The most powerful weapon/tool you have in your life is your heart.

It keeps you connected to the flow of spirit. And when you are in the flow, there is nothing you can’t do. The universe sends you wisdom, people and miracles on your path.

I’ve spent a lot of time disconnected from my heart. The past few months have been pivotal for me in regaining that connection. And living there.

You have heard that even from a scientific perspective, the heart is where it’s at. In fact, your heart is smarter than your brain.

When people say things like “Put your heart into it!” or we talk about the importance of FEELING IT when we visualize what we want, it’s HUGE.

If your heart isn’t in it, it ain’t happening. Or it’ll happen slowly and painfully.

In this time of setting new intentions, here’s what I’ve learned about staying connected to my heart:

1) Everyday, I need to do at least one thing I totally love.

I feel amazing when I exercise daily. Exercise hard, daily. It’s self-love.

I make time for yoga or Pilates or running in the forest. It’s my therapy. I get back in my body and into my true nature.

2) Connect with other people who live in their hearts. Or, radiate so much heart-ness that it brings them into their hearts.

I had a, uh, disagreement with a clerk at a vitamin shop a few months back. Or, I could view it that we were both in our heads. She’s very knowledgeable and yesterday, after an injury, I knew she’d be the one to talk to about supplements.

I approached her, breathless and high and full of love. (As is becoming my natural state). And she got really excited to talk about sports and her passions. I watched her totally open up. It brought tears to my eyes, I felt so in my heart and connected to her.

3) Prioritize social contact. This might be second nature for some people, but it hasn’t been for me. The nature of my work and my life means I spend a lot of time on my own. I have to schedule in playtime and connection time.

The more I’m in my heart, I can connect with anyone, anywhere on a deeper level.

When I was coming back from my six-day sex date, I was flying separately from my partner. I was seated next to a couple of women—synchronicity—one was a holistic nutritionist and the other a singer with a huge libido (I can see these things a mile away).

The nutritionist’s boyfriend was across the aisle and trying to order me around. Seriously. I told him to back off and then I told him that he needed to liberate his G-Spot (I kind of said it like that. I can also see these things from a mile away). I pressed the issue. His girlfriend laughed so hard she was crying. Then the singer and I explained how and why this was important. We had girl/sex talk/bonding time for a few hours.

Em, the point here is that you can have fun and feel love (or G-Spot love) anywhere.

4) Ask spirit for help. Some people call this praying.

When I get stuck and back in my head, I feel numb. Life feels empty. So I ask spirit to bring me back. Sometimes I write letters. Or I meditate.

I recognize that I’m out of the flow. I ask for help to get back in it.

I was out of the flow one day last week. I was grumpy. I wrote a long letter to spirit. And then, in a high spiritual way (not), I expressed my grumpiness to a neighbour who I felt was responsible for making me grumpy.

His response? He invited me for brunch with his family. I was so stunned I started to cry. My heart cracked back open in that moment. I went for brunch, loved it and see him in a whole new light now. He kept saying to me: “God wanted me to irritate you so that you’d come for brunch. See? Look how beautiful this is!”

He was right.

5) You knew I would go here.

Heart/genital love amplifies love. Where do you think the term “making love” comes from? The raw, intimate space we get into when we truly let down our guards with another human, getting naked on every possible level, cultivates love. Breeds it.

In our deepest vulnerability is our deepest power. So go very, very deep. Deeper, more honest than you think you can. And see what happens.

Now go forth and multiply, my lovelies.

***

How much do you live in your heart? What brings you and keeps you there? Schedule in at least one thing DAILY that keeps you in your heart. Your whole life will flow

Thank you, all my beautiful and passionate readers, for your love and support over the year!! I love travelling on this journey with you! This year is all about getting you deeper into your hearts and everything else. Many exciting ventures on the way!

Much love,

Kim

Heart by Laurel True

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